6571 days

i've been on this earth for six thousand five hundred and one days. it has been quite the journey these past 18 years. this year will be the best i can feel it. i feel like i'm on top of the world, and i am content with my life. so here's to the rest of the year in all it's glory and i'm thanking God every day for everything he has given me in my life.

it's that time again.

well it is christmas time once again. don't get me wrong, i do love this time of year. but, the week before the fun starts...is exams. i usually don't get to stressed out about it, and i'm not really this year. i'm just making sure that i study and all that jazz. but honestly. its christmas time and what good things have i done for people this year, have i really been nice? or would i be on santa's bad list.  surprisingly there has been some drama this year but its all subsided, which is good. i've done alot for myself this year, but i don't think that is a bad thing.  not that i have been selfish.  but instead of worrying about other people and what they are doing, thinking, etc. i've kind of just ignored it.  i could care less about 75% of our school i only like my friends and the people that i hang out with.  everyone else is just noise.  that may sound mean but when your almost 18 years old, and you are almost OUT of high school, anyone that gets in your way deserves zero of your time.  man do i wish i was going back to america for christmas. i'm excited to be here and to go to paris with silvia (!)  but i miss everyone.  i try not to think about it too much 'cause i'll just upset myself, but how can i not think about it when this time last year i was with lauren laughing at our retarded family, and with wendy and alicia doing whatever the hell we wanted too.  i just need to push through these next 4 days until FREEDOM. i think it will pay off, no i KNOW it will pay off.  i'm just praying to the Lord for some perseverance this week. well it is off to the shower and then to my spanish exam. wish me luck. 

myspace post.

10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:

1. why did you say those things about me?
2. sorry i talk shit about you
3. i love you
4. i loathe you
5. why didn't you ever call back?
6. did you think you could use me for that long?
7. i would be nothing without you in my life
8. i wish i got to know you better
9. without you in my life, i don't think i'd wake up everyday
10. i wish i could tell you the truth

9 things about yourself:

1. i want to find the one
2. i'm always searching for something that isn't looking for me.
3. i worry alot
4. i love my friends and family
5. sometimes i like being a bitch
6. i love john mayer
7. i wish people knew me for something else
8. i believe in God
9. i'm obsessed with twilight.

8 ways to win your heart:

1. playing the guitar
2. being truthful
3. calling back when you say you will
4. buying me stuff (hehe)
5. loving me
6. knuffelz
7. loving my friends and family (i mean come on if you want to be my lover you've got to get with my friends
8. buy me a plane ticket to virginia

7 things that cross your mind alot:

1. him
2. virginia
3. massachusetts
4. pain
5. music
6. smiles
7. lists

6 things you wish you never did:

1. freshman year
2. lied
3. gossiped
4. gone there
5. not listened
6. ignored you

5 turn offs

1. body odor
2. smelly breath/nasty teeth
3. liars/exaggeraters
4. bad clothes
5. apathy

4 turn ons

1. smelling good
2. taller than me
3. ability to serenade me with music
4. hilarious

3 smiley faces that describe your life

1. :)
2. :/
3. :D

2 things you want to do before you die

1. meet john mayer
2. touch as many lives as i can.

1 confession

1. i don't regret what i've done. i just wish that their outcomes weren't as severe. and i also wish that i wasn't such a bitch.

boobey bonezalot.

this weekend. well really last night has been the best. in a very long time.  yesterday i headed down to amsterdam quite early. hung out with a friend, then met up with hannah jordan and emma. we were surprising hannah for her birthday. so we had to keep her distracted for a long time. okay honestly after 6 on a saturday night in amsterdam, there isn't much to do except get drunk. so we wandered around in the freezing cold and finally made our way to hardrock.  when we got there everyone was there and it was coool (this is going to be a lame post but i do not care. it gets better) so anywho. after dinner every one leaves except me ally silvia and elizabeth.  we decided to go to boom chicago, so i pulled some strings and got us six euro tickets. i know i have the hookup.  so we watch the show which was hilarious then at intermission in walks SETH MEYERS. i grabbed silvia by the arm and was like THATS HIM THATS HIM. i ran outside told ally and ebeth then ran in side like a total tool.  after the show i went up to him and asked if we could have a picture. he was so nice and his brother who was on that 70s show took the picture for us. totally badass, i know.  hahha after our euphoric state we ran outside and started making small talk with a guy who looks like loytoy. we made up some story how we go to rijksvelgde or something. hahah papa picked us up. but on the way home the car broke down. HAHAH we were standing on the side of the highway stranded. finally it started and we sped home.  it was such a good day.

tell them that they get what they wanted.

we think your a joke shove your hope where it don't shine

i wish i could say that to people sometimes. especially at my fucking school. i walk through the halls sometimes and just shake my head at all the fools that i go to school with. 

that is all. 

i'm going to kanye and santogold tomorrow. holler. 

winter wonderland.

its finally snowing. i am so happy. this really makes it feel like winter. i don't even mind sitting in my room all day watching sex and the city and not doing work. well i mean i did do some work, but obviously the bare minimum.  last night was so fun. silvia calli elizabeth and i finished 3 bottles of wine in a matter of three hours. elizabeth and i finished ones by ourselves, impressive i know. so i'm trying to write this paper about a streetcar named desire and m. butterfly. its a comparative probably the hardest to write cause its such bullshit.  i'm writing about a false reality which surprisingly i am pretty excited about.  not only do characters in books and plays put on false realities but us readers do as well.  we say things to please some, wear clothes to fit in, and lie to ourselves to make it feel better and think that everything is okay.  but where is the line between false reality and true reality. i personally think its a blurry one for most. some people get to the point where they are constantly trying to fool everyone, even their closest friends. and i don't think that people understand that lying and pretending doesn't make people like you more. true friends want to see the real you, not some one you've conjured up in your head.  we all do it. i do it sometimes to, to please ones that i love.  sometimes you don't want to tell someone the truth to help spare their feelings, but are we just fueling their false reality fire, should we just tell them the truth and stand near with a box of tissues? i'm starting to think that is the path i should be taking. because a false reality will only lead to a downfall as i can see in both of these books. well i'm off to finish this

:)

5

i hate people who lie.